Parents, children and alone time

“What are some of the ways you explain to children that mom and

Does Dad need time alone, without feeling guilty about it? “

A journalist, writing an article about having time alone and as a couple.

when you have children, you asked me this question.

Parents will feel guilty only when they think they are doing

something wrong with spending time alone and as a couple without your


This is a false belief.

The truth is that children grow up much healthier emotionally when their

parents are happy and satisfied, even if it means their parents spend

less time with them. When parents understand that they are being good

parents talking about loving care for themselves and their relationship, their

children will understand this.

One way to help children understand this is to introduce the concept

of “alone time” very early in a child’s life. When a child is three years old,

or you can easily understand the concept of alone time. Yes every time

spend time alone with your child, you say, “This is our alone time,” your

the child will begin to understand the concept. When you have time to

You can say to yourself, “This is my time alone with myself.” When you

spend time with your partner, you can say, “This is mom and dad time

alone together. “Parents can tell their children, as soon as they are

able to understand the words, “We need time alone with you, with

with each other and with ourselves. We must all respect this about each

other. “

Our three children fully understood the concept of “alone time” because

we spent time alone with each of them. They came to understand and

respect from a young age the need to spend time alone.

If you step aside and don’t spend time with yourself and with

Your partner is giving your children an unhealthy role model. Your

are teaching them that others are always responsible for fulfilling their

needs. You are teaching them to feel entitled to your time and attention.

instead of helping them learn to respect other people’s time. Are you teaching

tells them it’s okay to demand that others stand aside for them,

which can create narcissistic behavior.

Healthy parenting means finding a balance between being with your

children, being with your partner and being with yourself. For you

children grow up taking responsibility for their own needs and

feelings, they need to see you taking responsibility for your needs and

feelings. Constantly sacrificing yourself for your children is not a role

personal responsibility model.

Children need you and your spouse to enjoy their time.

with each other as well as with yourselves. They need to see you

pursue your job, hobbies, creativity, and passions in order to

understand that they also need to find their passions. If you are always

there to meet the needs of their children, how can they find out who they are?

and what brings you joy? Always be there to meet your children

entertainment needs creates a dependency on others rather than

find these resources within themselves.

Many people grow up not knowing how to be alone with themselves.

Because they were always in front of a television or entertained by

his parents never figured out how to “play alone.”

Of course, it is very important to have enough time alone with your

kids. But it’s just as important to have enough time alone with your

spouse and yourself. When you understand this, you will stop

feel guilty about taking time alone. When you no longer feel

guilty, your children will learn to stop blaming you and respect your


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